Just over 4

Four days left that is.  This month has been a crazy roller coaster of writing.  Some days are fabulous and I can reach my daily word count goals in just a couple of hours.  The plot takes care of it's self, characters behave accordingly and all is happy.  Other days are exactly opposite.  It's like the story along with everyone in it is just staring at you blankly (almost the same way you feel like you're staring at the empty screen).  Or tiredness wins when brain power fails.  I've been known (more than once) to wake up to a few lines of gibberish staring back at me.  Yes, folks, I sleep type.

Today, however, was one of the good days.  In fact I'd go so far as to say it's the best day of all 26, and I imagine it will be the best day of the entire month.  It was that good.  The story practically wrote itself.  I just did my best to keep up with it.  Are there plot holes and flaws?  Absolutely.  Is the writing gorgeous and captivating?  Ha!  Probably not.  But.  It has potential.  A lot of it.  Beautiful things and funny things happened.  Smooth and brilliant (to me) transitions happened.  I couldn't stop typing.  The daily goal is 1,667. Today I stopped at 4,375.

I am in love.

Total word count for November: 43,010

Day 6

Until now I've been really excited about my story overall, even on days is seems to not come as easily. Today I've had a hard dose of doubt about my story.  I think it stemmed from trying to do a little research on it.  I checked some books out on the fairy tale my story is loosely based on.  We'll use the turn loosely very generously.  I panicked that it's not true to the story, that critics will fault me for my own spin on a classic, that it will just stink.  The dialogue could use a lot of help, too.  Lots of help. As in there's hardly any.  At least that's what it feels like.

But.  I keep trying to remind myself that this is the very first draft.  I'm trying to think of it more as a really detailed outline (have I already said this).  When I've got everything down, and it feels finished, I can go back and really make it something great. I don't have to write a perfect novel right off. I also know that these negative thoughts are not from me but from the adversary.  To him I say, "leave my book alone!  She's mine and she is lovely."

Now back to pounding out thousands of words.

Day 3

Current word count: 5,547

This is hard.  And fun. I am loving it.  Maybe next week I'll hate it.  Right now it's awesome.  My writing, however, is not. I shake my head at my writing even as I type it.  It helps to tell myself that this is one really long and superbly detailed outline.  I wish I knew a little more about about both character and plot development.  Another part of me says being an avid reader for my whole life is the best experience I can start with.  I know what I like and what drives me insane.  (Gables series?  Not you, Anne with an e.)  I may have to give up reading book reviews for awhile.  I"m already taking them personally and they're not even about anything I've written.

I casually mentioned to McKay something about writing my book.  His eyes got so big and as excitedly ask, "You're going to be published?!"  I think I'll be happy to have him on my team when rejection letters start rolling in. :)  Jeff has been pretty awesome, too.  OK.  Really awesome and very understanding when I break tradition of watching our shows together so I can go write.  Or not pestering me about getting to bed earlier because he knows I need to write.

Honestly, I've had a really great showing of support.  I expected a little more "You're crazy!"  Instead I've gotten a of , "That's so cool!"  "I want to read it!"  I love it.  But.  No one will be reading it for a long, long time. One day.  I promise.  Even if I have to give it to you on a USB. ha ha.

In three days, I've noticed one side effect that I hadn't anticipated.  Focus.  Not on my writing.  I am focused on it when I'm on the laptop. Focus in every other aspect of my life.  I now have a purpose that is solely for me (even though I'm still doing it for my kids/family).  Things that felt overwhelming before are now simple and I have a clarity of mind that wasn't there before.  If this is what writing does for me, I will write forever no matter how appalling my writing might be at times.

I'm glad tomorrow is Sunday.  I'm hoping to rest my creative brain.  I may sift through my characters and pick their imaginary brains for all the details I can gather.  Maybe write a much shorter outline.