Sometimes it pays to not do yard work

At the beginning of spring, we found out we were expecting baby #4.  All my plans (not that they were grand) of gardening were thrown out the window.  I didn't even have enough time to get to my winter clean-up stage before sickness set in.  So, I decided, we'll just do what we need to to keep up the bare minimum, i.e. Jeff will mow the lawn.  :)

Let me tell you, for once, ignoring the yard has paid off!  Off my patio I have these 3 giant planters that I like to put the wave petunias in. They fill out nicely.  The only problem with petunias is they are annuals, causing me to shell out money each spring (wave petunias are a little more pricey than your regular variety).  Well, well, well.  2 out of the 3 containers are now blossoming with wave petunias that we neither bought nor planted this year!  That's right.  Due to my lack of diligent care for my flowers, they went to seed and I now have two containers full of beautiful, sweet smelling petunias.  For free. Ha!

One other gardening tip-wait til July to purchase your flowers.  What once was $6 or more per pot, you can now by for $2/pot.  Thus filling the 3rd pot.  :)

Ouch

There I was.  Sitting reverently during the sacrament yesterday, minding my own business, when suddenly I was overwhelmed with powerful, crippling feelings of inadequacy and tears.  What?!  Where did that come from?? I mean, there have been a few trials the last few months, but mostly just lots of happiness and feeling good. 

Doubts about all my talents and abilities were suddenly at the forefront of my thoughts.  Jealousy of my amazing friends and their talents soon followed.  The things I do and areas I excel in were instantly not good enough and would never quite measure up.  My mind is not sharp enough, my home is not clean enough, my voice isn't good enough and on and on and on.

Whatever turmoil was boiling under the surface, no way was I letting it out where everyone else could see it.  I had to figure out where this was coming from and get it in check quickly.  First things first.  Stop the tears.  Easier said than done, especially when you have Grandma Marchant's tear ducts working against you.  ;)  Deep breath in.  Exhale slowly.  (Thank you Pilates and yoga!)  I was up extra late and I did have slightly tender ears from standing in front of 4 massive speakers while listening to a friend's band play Saturday night.  Maybe I am just extra tired.  More deep breaths.  Ok.  Tears are in check. 

Now what's up with this whole not feeling good enough thing?  (More deep breaths)  I found myself reciting lessons learned inYoung Women and as early as primary.  I am a child of God.  He loves me.  Repeat.  He doesn't mind my shortcomings as long as I am working towards improving them.  That's what He is there for.  Repeat again.  Slowly my thoughts returned to normal and I could move on to listen to the speakers.

This whole experience left  a deep impression on me though and I thought about it all day yesterday.  Satan was working on me this much I understood.  That was a scary realization.  Not wanting to have that happen again, I decided it was time for a little more goal setting.  Since most of what I was feeling failure in where talents (versus spiritual preparation or homemaking skills), that was where the goal setting would begin. 

I have always considered myself a "jack-of-all, master of none" when it comes to my hobbies.  Being able to do one thing exceptionally well would be such an awesome achievement for me.  I laid out 2 or 3 things I've been wanting to work more on and learn more about.  I've picked one of those to work on heavily for the next three months.  That's not enough time to make me an expert in any area, but I feel it's a reasonable amount of time to decide if it's an area I could master.

The goals I set in January are coming along nicely.  Making it to the temple 2x a month in tax season is already proving to be difficult, but going at least once per month is definitely doable.  Working out has become a top priority.  I've been having fun and am feeling really good which was the whole objective anyway.  I'm happy with 3 times a week.  I've been able to squeeze in a 4th workout and sometimes even a 5th, but it's nice to not have the extra pressure of needing those numbers to meet my goals.  I'm ready to take on this new goal which I will name shortly, but not until I've gotten some other things in place to help me out.

Hopefully it will be a long time before I feel like that again.  I do recognize that it has spurred me on to action though and for that I'm grateful.

The Year of 30

I am a huge fan of goal setting and love the idea of New Year's resolutions. This year is a special year for me and will therefore have some slightly loftier goals than normal with a lot more hardwork put into them.  This is the year I turn 30.  Many of my friends have already hit this major birthday and I am inspired by their general wonderfulness to go at 30 head on and embrace, even celebrate it.  So-for the next 12 months, I will be continually setting goals (and reaching them) to make the next decade better then the last.

First things first-we'll take care of the surface cleaning.  I am going to have a very active year starting with my goal of working out 3x a week this month.  Trimming down a little would be nice, but is not the ultimate goal here.  The summer of 08 was my most physically fit period of my entire life.  I looked pretty good if I do say so myself.  But more importantly-I FELT the best I've ever felt.  I had abundant energy.  I had confidence and I was happy.  That is what working out is all about. 

Next-Getting to the temple is proving hard for me.  Maybe I'm intimidated by calling a babysitter for this.  Maybe I'm lazy.  Either way it needs to change.  The goal? My temple attendance in 2010 is going to be the best it's ever been since having kids.  My goal right now is 2x a month-once with Jeff and once to do initiatory work with my temple buddy.  (Melissa-we need to plan a time!!)

I'm still working on my list, so if you have any great ideas to share for celebrating 30, pass it on.  The list will get longer as I get more involved in this.  I can't wait!

(My spell check is gone-so excuse any misspellings please.)

Life

It's crazy busy around here. Lots of laughing and lots of tears. A lot of learning going on. Kids developing talents and mom is trying to right along side them. The house varies between company ready and disaster relief required (with not much middle ground). The husband is the best. Party planning abounds. As do the remnants of my craft projects, out of season clothing and festive decor waiting patiently for it's turn to be displayed. Food's getting good and dishes are stacking up. Just like the laundry. The treadmill's in fine working order thanks to that man of mine signing me up for a Halloween run. New calling came through. Good friends save the day. And my sanity. Several times over. I make mistakes. Lots of them. When they happen, I feel like an ostrich. Medicine is a good thing. So is eating breakfast. I should use both more. Did my hair for the first time this week since Sunday (and then only because I had to). Am still cavity free. So is Sophie. My only 3 yr old to reach that milestone. "A Hot Dog" was the first book McKay read. He did it tonight. Smarty pants. I miss Lyndsi. She's gone too long at school. Life isn't perfect. It's quite complicated and frustrating. Sometimes it downright sucks. (Yes-I did just say that). But mostly it's good. And I'm okay with that.

Can I just say...

..That I'm grateful to have been taught to be kind and thoughtful and to not judge others?? I may not be good at these things all the time, but I think people in general don't deserve the lashings they get. I was checking out some books by Jon and Kate (of Jon and Kate plus 8 fame) on Amazon and reading the reviews (1st mistake right there). There were some HORRIBLE accusations and mean things said. I just couldn't believe people would a) say such mean things about people they've never personally met and b) apparently have no interest in their show/life anyway. Think what you will about that show, the Duggars, the Bachelor, religious groups, colleges, celebrities, etc, etc. etc. But lets follow some sound Disney advice, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin at all." (Thumper's father hit it right on the head with that one.) If we all were just a tad nicer, the world would be a different, better place. Challenge: be a nicer, kinder person today and watch to see how it affects (or effects? never did get that one) those around you and how you feel about yourself.

I'm A Believer

I've used the Mr. Clean magic eraser before and have seen good results, but honey, I am a BELIEVER now! I have been putting off my disgusting shower because anytime I tried to clean it with other products, it took way too much muscle and toxic fumes to get any results-let a lone the ones I wanted. Last week I decided I had enough and wanted a sparkling shower again. I mulled my plans and tactics over in my head and had the thought that I have a few friends who use that little white eraser on everything. Why not? I'll try it. At least there isn't the toxicity in the air like with bleach. Ladies (and any gentleman that may drop in), I now have a very sparkly, white, CLEAN shower. Thank you, Mr. Clean. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

I also BELIEVE that I can change. The other night Jeff and I were chatting while playing a game. I confessed that I have no follow through. So, we made a list of several things I haven't finished mostly because I lost interest or got it done "enough" to get by. I am happy to say that several things just were checked off yesterday with not much effort. What a silly girl I am.

I believe that I am hungry now, so I'll go fix dinner....